I read this book by Rebecca Coleman called The Kingdom of Childhood. It is set in 1998 with flashbacks to 1960's Germany. I am going to answer the end of book questions regarding the book while its fresh in my mind and after I will post my opinion of the book.
1.The story is set in 1998 amidst the release of the Starr Report and President Clinton's Impeachment, and as the novel opens, there is an intense discussion in the media about these subjects. Do you feel the "national conversation" about the Lewinsky affair opened avenues of discussion that would have been inappropriate for Zach and Judy otherwise?
I would imagine that it would have to depend on the context of how the discussion got started to how it would be considered inappropriate for Zach and Judy to discuss. In the situation it started off as a joke that everyone heard during that time and spiraled from there. In a way Lewinsky's affair with the President gave the topic of having an affair a closer look. Something people don't feel comfortable talking about because almost everyone knows of someone or has a family member who has been in that situation, making it a topic of non discussion.
2. The first few chapters of the novel show an increasingly skewed set of boundaries between Judy and Zach that allow the affair to occur. Did this seem realistic to you? Was the process of dissolving their boundaries similar to what happens in affairs between consenting adults?
I think it was very realistic. I think Judy being a neglected wife and under appreciated mother had taken its toll on her. I think she welcomed any kind of attention even if it was from a 16 year old boy. The boundaries between consenting adults exists to keep society and others happy. In that respect between two consenting adults the consequences fall to both of them. In the respect of the boundaries between an adult and a student/minor it is different. With that kind of boundary crossed the responsibility falls to the adult. They will see the 16 year old as a victim even if he/she initiated it. The adult should know the boundary line and not cross it yet Judy did. As for the dissolving of the boundary between the adult and the minor I think its very similar to that of two consenting adults. They go through the initial attraction and act on it.
3. The Waldorf school movement is an educational approach that is widely practiced around the world and yet little known outside those communities. Its philosophy extends beyond the classroom to the entire lifestyle of the families involved. How did you feel about the way of life Zach's family, and others in the story have adopted? Did it seem appealing or too intrusive? Were there any aspects that stood out to you? Judy's children, Scott and Maggie, both rebel from their upbringing in different ways. Did you blame them for rejecting the Waldorf way of life or did it seem understandable?
I think to each his own. What works for one family doesn't always work for another. I think on the one hand it is appealing to have a sense of belonging and knowing that you share the same beliefs and practices of others and in a way its too intrusive. In the way that its too intrusive is that if anyone were to find out you strayed from the practice they might call you out on it and that it would have some sort of consequence. Judy didn't practice everything being taught at Waldorf because the proof is in her refrigerator in the form of Coke. As for the rebelling on Scott and Maggie's part I think they did it just to do it and maybe they did have a real reason but in the novel it just seemed like an easy out for them. Blame mom and dad so they can have something to bitch about. I think in some ways that it is understandable for them to want to rebel because they are finding out limitations and how much they can handle and how much their family can take before being in a situation of discontent.
4. Both Judy and Zach are influenced by experiences in which they are confronted with their parents' sexual misdeeds. Each struggles to reconcile their idealized sense of their parent with their parents' human failings.
In what ways did you feel those experiences affected their choices with each other? In the case of Zach, did you feel that his mother's affair made an affair with a middle-aged woman seem more natural to him, or only increase his guilt about his role in it?
I think that they both could have used someone to talk to about what they witnessed. Their parents made choices that affected them differently. Judy blocked hers out until her life started unraveling. Zach lived with his and was able to deal with it in a different way. I think in a way they were drawn to each other because of their pasts. I don't think that Zach's mother having an affair made it natural to him to have an affair with someone twice his age. If Zach's mother had found out I don't know that she could have said anything he didn't already know and confronted Judy. Zach's mother's affair seemed to be between two consenting adults and not just a student and a teacher because essentially that is what the relationship was. But because of age it also turned it into two consenting adults entering into a sexual relationship. For Zach to have this seem natural to him would be his understanding of how his parents and society felt about it. Most societies and parents will abhor this relationship and call out foul. Someone would be going to jail and labeled as a sex offender if they didn't get the death penalty first. Zach would probably feel guilty that he had a part in it as all abusers seem to project that on their victims.
5. In the flashback scenes, Judy's mother is institutionalized due to a mental illness, which leads to Judy's father's affair with Kirsten and her own isolation and dependence on Rudi. All of these factors set the stage for her later affair with Zach, which in turn leads to her own unraveling mental state toward the end of the story. Did you sense she was mentally ill throughout the novel or did the stress of the affair cause her to "crack"? How did her family history of mental illness factor in to your impressions of or sympathy for Judy?
I think it would have to depend on whether or not the mental illness her mother had, was passed to Judy. In the beginning I think Judy was just lost and looking for solace in whatever she could find because she lost her mother essentially and then she lost her father to another woman's affections which probably confused Judy. At the age of 10 kids are impressionable and what she saw as infiltration and betrayal by her father of her mother that she couldn't see passed the basic human need of wanting and needing human contact in the form of sex. Later in life I think because Judy felt that isolation again she looked for solace in the contact she had from Zach and Ted. I don't know that she didn't already have a mental illness but it does seem possible that she could have been mentally ill throughout the book. However, I don't think it was the case. I think the stress of the affair made her crack because what did she really have to lose? Her daughter didn't agree with the way things were done while she was growing up and her son didn't seem to wanna have anything to do with her just as her husband delved deeper into his own problems and obviously abandoned Judy.
6. On the way back from Ohio, Zach and Judy discuss the song "Mrs. Robinson"and the idea of older women who pursue younger men. While society considers it "creepy" when an older man pursues a younger girl, in popular culture it's often held as funny or tantalizing when an older woman - a "cougar"- does the same with a young man. Do you agree that this double standard exists? Has your perspective changed after reading The Kingdom of Childhood?
I would have to agree that the double standard does exist.Society is prudish in some ways that its more common for an older man to chase a younger woman/girl than it is for an older woman to pursue a younger man. Like its more allowable for an older man to pursue the young woman/girl while its never talked about when an older woman pursues a young man/boy. My perspective hasn't changed on the topic of older men and women chasing the younger opposite sexes. People are obviously going to do it no matter what happens no matter how many other people are caught. I think the reason that most get caught is because of the age range it tends to happen in. Once a child turns 18, legally they are an adult and are supposed to be able to make life decisions. If they enter into a relationship with someone that is 11, 16 or 20 years older than they are that is their choice. It can be weird because of the huge generation gap but maybe they see something in each other that no one else can. Or maybe they found what they can give to each other and its just that simple. In Zach's case his maturity is probably what made him attractive to her other than his physical looks.
7. During the scene in which Zach comes over to spend the night, he reflects on his first kiss with Judy. In the version he remembers, Judy is the aggressor, which is quite different from the earlier version told from Judy's point of view in which the kiss was instigated by Zach. Which version did you believe?
At first I believed Judy's version because it seemed like he was mature for his age and because he is a boy/man/teen I think it would have been something of a challenge to him to see if he could get away with it. As for later on I believe Zach's version because as Judy becomes more clingy/needy it makes sense that she might have been the aggressor.
8. In Part 2, after Zach feels Judy forced herself on him in the car when he was sick, his attitude toward her changes significantly. Still, he continues to be with her. Have you ever had the experience of being in a relationship you knew was toxic while finding it impossible to let the person go?
I have felt that way only once before and it was only because at that point he was the only thing keeping the bills paid and food in the house. When he finally left it was a relief that I didn't have to make that decision and deal with a huge blow out. At that point it was just figuring out what to do in the mean time to keep myself floating. After I found a job and made sure the kids were cared for things got easier and I kick myself as to why I ever let it go on for so long that it made me self conscious about how I saw myself. I feel like now I can breathe and make decisions with out having to second guess myself.
9. Throughout the story, numerous people- Sandy Valera, Temple and Rhianne - attempt to interfere with the affair (to the extent that they know about it). Yet none is truly successful in making a difference. Did you feel any of these characters pushed too hard, or not hard enough, in their attempts? How do you think they could have been more effective?
As a teacher Sandy Valera should have gone to Judy on a personal level at first then on a business level if the personal level didn't work. If she couldn't have gone to Dan about it she should have gone to the board and ultimately the police because even just a suspicion will get an investigation going. Temple being a friend of Zach's did all he could to interfere and get Zach to see the error of what he was doing .He also could have gone to Dan or the school board or the police but I think he wanted to give Zach the benefit of the doubt by turning things in himself. I think Temple wanted to be a friend to Zach and help him and that was how he knew to do it. Rhianne's way was sneaky. I didn't like her approach especially when she confronted Judy at the school. Maybe as a mid-wife she could have called Judy to her office to discuss it. Then when she later went to Judy's home and confronted her I felt it was out of place for her to have done so. That is Judy's sanctuary no matter what was going on in her life she needed a place to feel secure and she did at home. With Rhianne's invasion into her home it was very weird to have read that scene and not think of Rhianne as a huge bitch for doing so. I am not sure that Rhianne should have confronted Zach that night either at that bonfire because of her state of mind when she left Judy's. I think she could have waited and spoke to Zach maybe the next day instead. Or just let Zach handle it.
10. Although it isn't mentioned in the book, the story is set around the same time as the real-life conviction of teacher Mary-Kay Letrouneau for her relationship with a twelve year old student. Such cases are not uncommon in the news, and often the perpetrator is a devoted teacher who has a spouse and children. The question always asked is, "Why would she risk everything for an affair with a boy?" Did the story leave you with a different perspective on how these events occur? Do you believe that such relationships are criminal?
Ok first off sex with a minor is very much a taboo subject. As a parent of kids its hard for me to understand why anyone would want to have sex with them at such young ages but as they get older say 14 and up its a little different. I lost my virginity at 14 to a 23 year old and while I am not proud of that, I believe that it is the age when "most" teens experiment with sex. Today's kids know more at younger ages than I did at 14. As for criminal I think it depends. My parents would have called it statutory rape and I called it love. Little did I know at that age that it wasn't love it was just an excuse to get what he wanted and leave. I was stupid. I think it depends on maturity. Most kids aren't able to wrap their head around the responsibility of having sex at that age so why condone it or push it? Zach seemed like he had a pretty good idea of what he wanted out of the relationship especially to go so far as to use protection. Most teenage boys won't or don't use protection and get the girl pregnant. So in that aspect of maturity if my daughters came to me and said they were ready to have sex at age 12 or 14 or 16 and they had someone quite a bit older that was interested in them I would probably flip shit or if they didn't come to me and I found out they were having sex with someone older I would flip shit. I mean they are my babies. I would want to protect them. I don't understand how someone could have a mature relationship with a minor to include sex and expect the relationship to not end on a bad note with parents being upset and the law involved. Not to mention what that person must be thinking to want to have sex with a minor. I wouldn't say that my perspective changed on how things like the affair occur it might have changed my perspective on why people do it. In Judy's case I think it was loneliness and that she found someone who was convenient and accessible rather than starting a fresh relationship with someone her own age. Ted was her age but lived else where and was not easily accessible not to mention he was married too. In Zach's case I think it was a thrill for him to see if he could get away with it. He didn't account for the feelings that would get involved and I felt that in the story Judy was one more fuck away from telling Zach she loved him. Because I can see how she might think that the sex could lead to love or to her at least how she would have perceived it.
11. At the end of the book, did Judy redeem herself to you in any way? Did you feel pity for her? Also at the end of the book, Zach is experiencing the birth of his sister. Did you have the sense that his life would get back on track after this, or that the story's events would continue to complicate things for him?
Judy didn't redeem herself. She killed her husband, and was killing herself all because she realized she had nothing. Her kids abandoned her, her husband ignored her so she killed him and really she must have felt that she had nothing left to live for. She wouldn't have been able to have a normal life after everything was said and done because she would have been charged with a crime such as statutory rape of a minor. Her life would have left her rotting in jail for the death of her husband and sex with a minor. I did pity her because of her past and how it seemed she had no one to reach out to. Rudi also left her in a sense because all she was to him was a play mate nothing more. I want to think Zach's life got back on track but I think with Judy's death and the scandal that would eventually rock the community once everything was found out, I think it would have torn Zach up at least for a while. I mean he did after all have a relationship with Judy and did in some sense care for her it would be heartless of him to say he didn't care or that it didn't affect him. I think in the long run his life would continue and be on track but for a temporary time he would have to deal with the stares, the accusations, the whispers, the lies and the pity.
This book was definitely not something I would have chosen had I known what it was about. Because when you hear of this kind of thing happening you almost always know how it will end. With either a jail sentence or someone killing themselves or both. I think this book was well written and had me turning pages to find out what could possibly make someone do this. I was riveted by sheer nosiness and the need to understand why. If I were to recommend this book it would be under the pretenses of having someone change their perspective on the topic of relationships. That the affair itself wouldn't have been bad if it weren't for the age difference and the fact that the other party wasn't involved. To me if the person that is married to another person goes outside the relationship to fix a need because they aren't getting it in the relationship with their spouse and the spouse knows about it then it's not cheating. That opens up a whole new discussion I am sure, but there are circumstances that have to be told and a sort of explanation of sorts to be told for someone to understand why I think that way. I am only saying that to each his own. What is done in one relationship isn't always done in another. It just depends on the factors.
1.The story is set in 1998 amidst the release of the Starr Report and President Clinton's Impeachment, and as the novel opens, there is an intense discussion in the media about these subjects. Do you feel the "national conversation" about the Lewinsky affair opened avenues of discussion that would have been inappropriate for Zach and Judy otherwise?
I would imagine that it would have to depend on the context of how the discussion got started to how it would be considered inappropriate for Zach and Judy to discuss. In the situation it started off as a joke that everyone heard during that time and spiraled from there. In a way Lewinsky's affair with the President gave the topic of having an affair a closer look. Something people don't feel comfortable talking about because almost everyone knows of someone or has a family member who has been in that situation, making it a topic of non discussion.
2. The first few chapters of the novel show an increasingly skewed set of boundaries between Judy and Zach that allow the affair to occur. Did this seem realistic to you? Was the process of dissolving their boundaries similar to what happens in affairs between consenting adults?
I think it was very realistic. I think Judy being a neglected wife and under appreciated mother had taken its toll on her. I think she welcomed any kind of attention even if it was from a 16 year old boy. The boundaries between consenting adults exists to keep society and others happy. In that respect between two consenting adults the consequences fall to both of them. In the respect of the boundaries between an adult and a student/minor it is different. With that kind of boundary crossed the responsibility falls to the adult. They will see the 16 year old as a victim even if he/she initiated it. The adult should know the boundary line and not cross it yet Judy did. As for the dissolving of the boundary between the adult and the minor I think its very similar to that of two consenting adults. They go through the initial attraction and act on it.
3. The Waldorf school movement is an educational approach that is widely practiced around the world and yet little known outside those communities. Its philosophy extends beyond the classroom to the entire lifestyle of the families involved. How did you feel about the way of life Zach's family, and others in the story have adopted? Did it seem appealing or too intrusive? Were there any aspects that stood out to you? Judy's children, Scott and Maggie, both rebel from their upbringing in different ways. Did you blame them for rejecting the Waldorf way of life or did it seem understandable?
I think to each his own. What works for one family doesn't always work for another. I think on the one hand it is appealing to have a sense of belonging and knowing that you share the same beliefs and practices of others and in a way its too intrusive. In the way that its too intrusive is that if anyone were to find out you strayed from the practice they might call you out on it and that it would have some sort of consequence. Judy didn't practice everything being taught at Waldorf because the proof is in her refrigerator in the form of Coke. As for the rebelling on Scott and Maggie's part I think they did it just to do it and maybe they did have a real reason but in the novel it just seemed like an easy out for them. Blame mom and dad so they can have something to bitch about. I think in some ways that it is understandable for them to want to rebel because they are finding out limitations and how much they can handle and how much their family can take before being in a situation of discontent.
4. Both Judy and Zach are influenced by experiences in which they are confronted with their parents' sexual misdeeds. Each struggles to reconcile their idealized sense of their parent with their parents' human failings.
In what ways did you feel those experiences affected their choices with each other? In the case of Zach, did you feel that his mother's affair made an affair with a middle-aged woman seem more natural to him, or only increase his guilt about his role in it?
I think that they both could have used someone to talk to about what they witnessed. Their parents made choices that affected them differently. Judy blocked hers out until her life started unraveling. Zach lived with his and was able to deal with it in a different way. I think in a way they were drawn to each other because of their pasts. I don't think that Zach's mother having an affair made it natural to him to have an affair with someone twice his age. If Zach's mother had found out I don't know that she could have said anything he didn't already know and confronted Judy. Zach's mother's affair seemed to be between two consenting adults and not just a student and a teacher because essentially that is what the relationship was. But because of age it also turned it into two consenting adults entering into a sexual relationship. For Zach to have this seem natural to him would be his understanding of how his parents and society felt about it. Most societies and parents will abhor this relationship and call out foul. Someone would be going to jail and labeled as a sex offender if they didn't get the death penalty first. Zach would probably feel guilty that he had a part in it as all abusers seem to project that on their victims.
5. In the flashback scenes, Judy's mother is institutionalized due to a mental illness, which leads to Judy's father's affair with Kirsten and her own isolation and dependence on Rudi. All of these factors set the stage for her later affair with Zach, which in turn leads to her own unraveling mental state toward the end of the story. Did you sense she was mentally ill throughout the novel or did the stress of the affair cause her to "crack"? How did her family history of mental illness factor in to your impressions of or sympathy for Judy?
I think it would have to depend on whether or not the mental illness her mother had, was passed to Judy. In the beginning I think Judy was just lost and looking for solace in whatever she could find because she lost her mother essentially and then she lost her father to another woman's affections which probably confused Judy. At the age of 10 kids are impressionable and what she saw as infiltration and betrayal by her father of her mother that she couldn't see passed the basic human need of wanting and needing human contact in the form of sex. Later in life I think because Judy felt that isolation again she looked for solace in the contact she had from Zach and Ted. I don't know that she didn't already have a mental illness but it does seem possible that she could have been mentally ill throughout the book. However, I don't think it was the case. I think the stress of the affair made her crack because what did she really have to lose? Her daughter didn't agree with the way things were done while she was growing up and her son didn't seem to wanna have anything to do with her just as her husband delved deeper into his own problems and obviously abandoned Judy.
6. On the way back from Ohio, Zach and Judy discuss the song "Mrs. Robinson"and the idea of older women who pursue younger men. While society considers it "creepy" when an older man pursues a younger girl, in popular culture it's often held as funny or tantalizing when an older woman - a "cougar"- does the same with a young man. Do you agree that this double standard exists? Has your perspective changed after reading The Kingdom of Childhood?
I would have to agree that the double standard does exist.Society is prudish in some ways that its more common for an older man to chase a younger woman/girl than it is for an older woman to pursue a younger man. Like its more allowable for an older man to pursue the young woman/girl while its never talked about when an older woman pursues a young man/boy. My perspective hasn't changed on the topic of older men and women chasing the younger opposite sexes. People are obviously going to do it no matter what happens no matter how many other people are caught. I think the reason that most get caught is because of the age range it tends to happen in. Once a child turns 18, legally they are an adult and are supposed to be able to make life decisions. If they enter into a relationship with someone that is 11, 16 or 20 years older than they are that is their choice. It can be weird because of the huge generation gap but maybe they see something in each other that no one else can. Or maybe they found what they can give to each other and its just that simple. In Zach's case his maturity is probably what made him attractive to her other than his physical looks.
7. During the scene in which Zach comes over to spend the night, he reflects on his first kiss with Judy. In the version he remembers, Judy is the aggressor, which is quite different from the earlier version told from Judy's point of view in which the kiss was instigated by Zach. Which version did you believe?
At first I believed Judy's version because it seemed like he was mature for his age and because he is a boy/man/teen I think it would have been something of a challenge to him to see if he could get away with it. As for later on I believe Zach's version because as Judy becomes more clingy/needy it makes sense that she might have been the aggressor.
8. In Part 2, after Zach feels Judy forced herself on him in the car when he was sick, his attitude toward her changes significantly. Still, he continues to be with her. Have you ever had the experience of being in a relationship you knew was toxic while finding it impossible to let the person go?
I have felt that way only once before and it was only because at that point he was the only thing keeping the bills paid and food in the house. When he finally left it was a relief that I didn't have to make that decision and deal with a huge blow out. At that point it was just figuring out what to do in the mean time to keep myself floating. After I found a job and made sure the kids were cared for things got easier and I kick myself as to why I ever let it go on for so long that it made me self conscious about how I saw myself. I feel like now I can breathe and make decisions with out having to second guess myself.
9. Throughout the story, numerous people- Sandy Valera, Temple and Rhianne - attempt to interfere with the affair (to the extent that they know about it). Yet none is truly successful in making a difference. Did you feel any of these characters pushed too hard, or not hard enough, in their attempts? How do you think they could have been more effective?
As a teacher Sandy Valera should have gone to Judy on a personal level at first then on a business level if the personal level didn't work. If she couldn't have gone to Dan about it she should have gone to the board and ultimately the police because even just a suspicion will get an investigation going. Temple being a friend of Zach's did all he could to interfere and get Zach to see the error of what he was doing .He also could have gone to Dan or the school board or the police but I think he wanted to give Zach the benefit of the doubt by turning things in himself. I think Temple wanted to be a friend to Zach and help him and that was how he knew to do it. Rhianne's way was sneaky. I didn't like her approach especially when she confronted Judy at the school. Maybe as a mid-wife she could have called Judy to her office to discuss it. Then when she later went to Judy's home and confronted her I felt it was out of place for her to have done so. That is Judy's sanctuary no matter what was going on in her life she needed a place to feel secure and she did at home. With Rhianne's invasion into her home it was very weird to have read that scene and not think of Rhianne as a huge bitch for doing so. I am not sure that Rhianne should have confronted Zach that night either at that bonfire because of her state of mind when she left Judy's. I think she could have waited and spoke to Zach maybe the next day instead. Or just let Zach handle it.
10. Although it isn't mentioned in the book, the story is set around the same time as the real-life conviction of teacher Mary-Kay Letrouneau for her relationship with a twelve year old student. Such cases are not uncommon in the news, and often the perpetrator is a devoted teacher who has a spouse and children. The question always asked is, "Why would she risk everything for an affair with a boy?" Did the story leave you with a different perspective on how these events occur? Do you believe that such relationships are criminal?
Ok first off sex with a minor is very much a taboo subject. As a parent of kids its hard for me to understand why anyone would want to have sex with them at such young ages but as they get older say 14 and up its a little different. I lost my virginity at 14 to a 23 year old and while I am not proud of that, I believe that it is the age when "most" teens experiment with sex. Today's kids know more at younger ages than I did at 14. As for criminal I think it depends. My parents would have called it statutory rape and I called it love. Little did I know at that age that it wasn't love it was just an excuse to get what he wanted and leave. I was stupid. I think it depends on maturity. Most kids aren't able to wrap their head around the responsibility of having sex at that age so why condone it or push it? Zach seemed like he had a pretty good idea of what he wanted out of the relationship especially to go so far as to use protection. Most teenage boys won't or don't use protection and get the girl pregnant. So in that aspect of maturity if my daughters came to me and said they were ready to have sex at age 12 or 14 or 16 and they had someone quite a bit older that was interested in them I would probably flip shit or if they didn't come to me and I found out they were having sex with someone older I would flip shit. I mean they are my babies. I would want to protect them. I don't understand how someone could have a mature relationship with a minor to include sex and expect the relationship to not end on a bad note with parents being upset and the law involved. Not to mention what that person must be thinking to want to have sex with a minor. I wouldn't say that my perspective changed on how things like the affair occur it might have changed my perspective on why people do it. In Judy's case I think it was loneliness and that she found someone who was convenient and accessible rather than starting a fresh relationship with someone her own age. Ted was her age but lived else where and was not easily accessible not to mention he was married too. In Zach's case I think it was a thrill for him to see if he could get away with it. He didn't account for the feelings that would get involved and I felt that in the story Judy was one more fuck away from telling Zach she loved him. Because I can see how she might think that the sex could lead to love or to her at least how she would have perceived it.
11. At the end of the book, did Judy redeem herself to you in any way? Did you feel pity for her? Also at the end of the book, Zach is experiencing the birth of his sister. Did you have the sense that his life would get back on track after this, or that the story's events would continue to complicate things for him?
Judy didn't redeem herself. She killed her husband, and was killing herself all because she realized she had nothing. Her kids abandoned her, her husband ignored her so she killed him and really she must have felt that she had nothing left to live for. She wouldn't have been able to have a normal life after everything was said and done because she would have been charged with a crime such as statutory rape of a minor. Her life would have left her rotting in jail for the death of her husband and sex with a minor. I did pity her because of her past and how it seemed she had no one to reach out to. Rudi also left her in a sense because all she was to him was a play mate nothing more. I want to think Zach's life got back on track but I think with Judy's death and the scandal that would eventually rock the community once everything was found out, I think it would have torn Zach up at least for a while. I mean he did after all have a relationship with Judy and did in some sense care for her it would be heartless of him to say he didn't care or that it didn't affect him. I think in the long run his life would continue and be on track but for a temporary time he would have to deal with the stares, the accusations, the whispers, the lies and the pity.
This book was definitely not something I would have chosen had I known what it was about. Because when you hear of this kind of thing happening you almost always know how it will end. With either a jail sentence or someone killing themselves or both. I think this book was well written and had me turning pages to find out what could possibly make someone do this. I was riveted by sheer nosiness and the need to understand why. If I were to recommend this book it would be under the pretenses of having someone change their perspective on the topic of relationships. That the affair itself wouldn't have been bad if it weren't for the age difference and the fact that the other party wasn't involved. To me if the person that is married to another person goes outside the relationship to fix a need because they aren't getting it in the relationship with their spouse and the spouse knows about it then it's not cheating. That opens up a whole new discussion I am sure, but there are circumstances that have to be told and a sort of explanation of sorts to be told for someone to understand why I think that way. I am only saying that to each his own. What is done in one relationship isn't always done in another. It just depends on the factors.